Archive for November, 2009

funny shit

here’s some funny shit that I’ve come across on the “net”.

BRAWNY never looked so good.  I love the SEMEN SCENT rolls.  That shit is hilarious.


This shit reminds me of my time in New Orleans.  Maybe I’m getting old, but  just don’t fucking get it.


I don’t think there is anything that needs to be said here.






And this last one is just fucking stupid. What were they thinking? Didn’t anyone say “hey maybe we should move this damn pole? Idiots.

And here’s a sexy pic for ya.



hold the presses, Slave might have been found

I am in talks with a 24 year old hottie. He really wants to serve me. He said “I will do everything you ask, never say no, and be used by in any way you see fit”. So he’s pretty much exactly what I ordered. Thanks to all of you who send pics of your choices. I will let you know if I need to meet with any of them, but for now I think I’ll see how this boy works out.
Here’s a pic for ya…

love the look on his face


You’ve heard of StarSearch, well welcome to SlaveSearch2009.  Yes, I’m on the hunt for my perfect little slave. Someone who will come home after work, hand me his paycheck, get on his knees and suck my dick, then go do the dishes. Someone who will do as they are told, when they are told, without bitching and moaning.

I want someone like this…

Good boy

That would be nice to come home to every night. Instead of the usual “hi Honey, how are you?”  Ugh.  I don’t do HONEY.  And don’t even expect me to ask you how your day was because I don’t care how your day was, I care how MY day was. Is it too much to ask to find someone like this…

you missed a spot

I don’t think that should be too hard to find. But instead this is what I’m finding…

I'd like to apply for the slave position

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.. but I don’t want fat and old, I want young and hot. ugh. So please do a guy a favor. Nominate your friends, your family, your neighbor, doesn’t matter who, just make sure they are young, hot and willing to do whatever they are told. Make this holiday a great one for yours truly.

Here’s a pic for ya…

Does this dildo make my ass look fat?

As promised… my tales of the invisible car.

Ok this could either be a great post with lots of useful information or it could be a huge waste of bandwidth (damn I had to retype that word three times to spell it right). 

I am always looking out for the little people. Not midgets, but the regular folks. Folks that can’t go out and buy a $79,000 car just cause their neighbor just got one and they have to “up” them.  So on that message I have an idea for all future superheroes out there who need to be able to get from one place to another without having to be swamped with paparazzi and admiring fans.

Buy this car!

The invisible car

I hope you can see it

When I got stabbed, hospitalized and subsequently laid off, I took a job that was out of town. Being that I was going to be driving back and forth everyday and gas still wasn’t exactly cheap, I decided that I needed to get rid of my big gas hog F-150 and get something more economical. So off to my local CarMax I went. I popped in and said “I need something small and great on gas. Not good on gas, but GREAT on gas mileage”.  So I walk in to the dealership and I see the car. I tell the salesman, “that’s the car I want, lets write it up”.

He does and I drive off in the car about 30 minutes later. (By the way if you have a CarMax near you, VISIT THEM. Best experience I have ever had buying a car, and I’ve bought over 20 of them in my short life). But I digress. 

So forward to a little bit later I’m driving down the street and all of a sudden this A**hole just leaves his lane and pulls right into my lane. Luckily my superior driving skills allowed me to brake quickly enough to avoid an accident. I go about my life thinking it was just a fluke.

Later that week it happens again, another driver just pulls right in front of me and I almost T-bone him. I don’t get it. Then the following week it happens again and again and again.  I was beginning to think that people were just out to get me. Well then I finally had it happen once more and I had enough. I stopped the woman who cut me off and said “hey, what’s up with cutting me off?”  (Not exactly in that nice of terms, mind you). And she explained the problem…  “I didn’t see you”.

Aparently my car to other people looks like this…

Now I never knew for under $20k you could buy a space age superhero vehicle. Now if I can just figure out how to get the damn thing to fly.

oh and here’s a pic for ya for listening to my bitching.

notice the dick

coming soon, tales of the magical invisible car

Yes, that’s right, the magical, invisible car…  it magical… it’s invisible… it’s, well, ok it’s a car.  But anyway, this is no ordinary car, this car is special, it has the ability to turn invisible.  More to come soon… complete with pictures… if you can see them.  HA.

Two hotties

These two boys are sooo hot. They aparently live together and work together but they each have girlfriends. Yeah right. I don’t know of any “str8” guys who suck and fuck each other. Trust me, I’ve looked and looked and looked.  Enjoy.

The best pumpkin carver EVER

I can’t stand it, I crack up everytime I see this, I soooo have to do this next year.


Damn pumps cant hold their liquor

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